Parents’ evening!  Does it make you feel nervous?  Does it bring up old memories of your own school days?  Are you worried about what the teacher may say or what you should ask?

Fear not!  I’ll fill you in on what you need to know to reduce the parents’ evening anxiety.

Things to know about parents’ evening:

Schools must provide at least one opportunity a year for parents to discuss their child’s progress with a teacher.  Most schools hold two parents’ evenings a year – one in the autumn term and one in the spring or summer term.

For primary school children, and children in Year 7, the autumn meeting should focus on how they are settling into their new year group and class and if they are happy and content at school.  If they are, then they should be learning well, if not, then that will impact their progress, and discussing strategies that will help them both at home and school should take place. 

Remember that your child’s teacher is on your side.  They want your child to do well and be happy at school as much as you do.  They will give you positive feedback and if there are any areas of concern, these will be raised in a professional manner with a view on how to help resolve them in the best way for your child.

It is fine to bring your children (and any siblings) into the meeting with you, but you don’t have to (sometimes the children prefer for you to go in without them – so do check).

Dos and Don’ts of parents’ evening:

DO ask how they have settled in and if they seem happy at school. Hopefully, the teacher will tell you this anyway and you won’t need to ask.

DO ask about any routines or procedures (eg homework systems) that you are unsure of, or are causing difficulties at home.  If the teacher is aware, then they can help solve any problems.

DO let the teacher know if anything is happening that may affect your child’s learning – this could be friendship issues or things happening at home.  Personal issues will be treated confidentially and sensitively, but it is important for the school to be aware so they can best support your child.

DO ask how you can help your child with their learning at home. 

DO be aware of the time – your appointment will be around 10 minutes long.

DO look at any work your child has done if books are laid out.

DO raise any concerns you have politely and with a view to working together to solve them.  Going in angry and all-guns-blazing will not get you the results you want.

DON’T ask how your child compares to others in the class.  The teacher can’t give you this information and it’s not helpful to you anyway.  Focus on your child – no one else’s.

DON’T compare your child to their siblings.  They are a person in their own right.  Just because their older brother did something well, or struggled with something, it doesn’t mean their sibling will too.  Treat each child individually.

DON’T tell the teacher how to do their job.  Paying your taxes which pays their salary does not make you their boss. (Yes, I have had parents say this!) You are there to get their professional input on your child’s learning. Listen to them and take on board their advice and suggestions.

DO go!  It may be scary, it may take up time, and it may interfere with your daily routine, but it is once or twice a year and it honestly has a huge impact on your child’s learning.  As a teacher, I have understood the children in my class so much better, and been able to better meet their individual needs due to meeting their parents and discussing how best to help them at parents’ evening.  If you can’t make the scheduled parent’s evening, it is absolutely fine to make an appointment with the teacher for another time.  If you can’t go to both parents’ evenings, attending just one is better than none.

If you are separated from your child’s other parent, then it is fine to make separate appointments for you to see your child’s teacher individually.

It is also OK to bring your child’s step-parent, grandparent or aunt or uncle along to the meeting if you would like to have someone else with you.

DO say thank you at the end of the meeting.  My job-share teacher and I were once presented with a bag of mixed fruit and nuts at the start of a meeting by a mum because she knew we were having a very long day, with little to no time for breaks or refreshments between appointments.  It blew our minds!  It was such a small act of kindness but made a massive difference and kept us going into the evening.  Gifts like this are not necessary or expected, but two little words that show you understand how much that teacher does to help your child goes a long way. It is common courtesy but so many parents don’t bother. 

If you have found this blog helpful, then do come and join my free Facebook group Primary Matters for more help and advice about learning in the vital primary years.

To discuss how I can help support your child’s learning, please see my services or contact me.

The post Parents’ Evening – a guide for parents appeared first on Karen Lander - The Top Cat Tutor.

I use the term “teacher gift” in this blog but what I’m saying can apply to any member of school staff. Where you see “teacher gift” it can also mean a gift for any school staff including Teaching Assistants, Lunchtime Supervisers, cleaners, office staff etc.

Giving your child’s teacher a gift at the end of term is a lovely way of showing your appreciation for their hard work and dedication in helping your child. 

Thank You Notes

Any teacher or member of school staff will tell you THE best gifts are when the child has handmade a thank you card or written a thank you note. 

I still have every single card and note I’ve been given since I worked as a Teaching Assistant 20 years ago.  Every single one.  Some are on scraps of paper others are big pieces of card with a picture beautifully coloured.  They are all equally special.  I occasionally get them out and look through them and it brings back happy memories and lots of smiles.

So, the short answer to “what is a great gift to give to your child’s teacher?” is a handmade or written thank you card. It is appreciated every time.

Some of the best gifts I’ve been given

However, if you are able to, and want to spend a bit of money on a gift, then the best ones are where some thought has obviously gone into it.  The best ones for me were where they had found something personal to me (usually something with a cat on, or a scarf – I love a scarf!)  I’ve received a lovely top with cats on that I still wear regularly.  It’s from a well-known high street shop that sells very affordable clothes so it wouldn’t have been expensive but so well chosen as it’s very me! 

These types of gifts show that your child pays attention in school.  They’ve picked up on what their teacher enjoys, or what pets they have, or the style or colour of clothes or accessories they like to wear.

Another winner was a “pamper kit” which included bath items, a candle, a hand-painted glass jar and a book.  Now, I’m very fussy about what books I read, and I would say this was a risk, but I read the book (that I would never have chosen myself) and enjoyed it and it did feel special because I took time over the holidays to sit and read it.  That gift ensured I had some self-care over the holidays. The jar has been in my bathroom ever since – around 17 years now! 

I’ve also been given a £10 Costa Coffee voucher.  Great teacher gift!  I remember going for my special coffee and cake and enjoying it even more because it was a thank you treat. 

I also have a small wooden hanging ornament on which a child painted a penguin and wrote a message on the other side.  It is on a door handle in my house, and it gives me happy memories every time I see it (which is several times a day).

What makes a good teacher gift?

Something with a bit of thought or effort put in.  A card handmade by the child is always more special than a generic “thank you teacher” mug/pen/keyring/teddy bear.  I still have every card every child I’ve ever taught has given me.  I’m afraid I can’t say the same about the generic thank you teacher gifts. 

Something linked to things the teacher likes – do they talk a lot about a hobby, a favourite food, do they wear certain colours or items (eg me and my scarfs)? What clubs have they run?  This might give you an insight into the type of activities they enjoy or interests they have. 

Things to treat themselves with are also great, such as the coffee voucher I received.  The standard chocolate/wine/toiletries can be good.  My husband would always be excited to find out how much chocolate I was bringing home and it often lasted through the holidays. 

But, due to dietary requirements, food can be tricky, as can alcohol (do you know they drink?  What is their favourite tipple if so?).  We rarely drink wine and I still have bottles gifted to me years ago that will probably end up as a raffle prize.  Some nice tonic to go in a G&T would have been more appreciated, but it’s difficult to tell 10-year-olds you like a gin-ton! 

So too with toiletries, I’m very fussy and they must be Vegan but I’m highly unlikely to have dropped this into daily classroom conversation.  I’ve regifted many bath items because they’re from big names who test on animals. 

If in doubt, it’s OK to ask.  Children like to quiz their teachers! They take great pleasure in sidling up to you at break time and asking “Mrs Lander, what’s your favourite chocolate/drink/bubble bath?” then chuckling as they scurry off to play, armed with important personal information that they think you have no idea why they asked for it in the first place. Teachers will happily play along.

Ultimately, however, it doesn’t really matter what you give.  The out-of-date box of Maltesers with the reduced-price sticker still on didn’t diminish the sentiment behind it.  I’d rather have that than no thanks at all.   It really is the thought that counts, and teachers and school staff will be touched to have received a thank you gift, whatever it is. 

Don’t forget the Teaching Assistants, Lunchtime Supervisors and cleaners – they are often overlooked but have all helped your child throughout the year.  And remember – the number one thank you is a handmade card or hand-written note from your child, so get those crayons out and get colouring!

Recommendations

If you do want to get a gift for any of the staff at your child’s school, here are some awesome ideas that also support small businesses.  Most of them are local to me in the Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire or Herefordshire, but they post nationally.  I don’t get anything from recommending them – I just like to shout out about amazing local businesses.

They range from £1 upwards, but most have items under £20. Most of them have gifts suitable for both men and women (even the jewellery and toiletry shops). Male teachers get A LOT of mugs/beer/ties.  If you can find something a bit different, they will remember you forever!

Forest Friendly

Kirsty runs a fantastic eco shop here in the Forest of Dean, but she posts nationally.  Kirsty stocks reusable bottles, sweet treats, wax melts, wooden signs, face serums, washing grains, soaps and gift vouchers

She can make up gift boxes including soaps, chocolates, shaving bars, shampoos, wooden toys etc with a personalised note. https://www.forestfriendly.co.uk/

Mel’s Little Luxuries

Mel creates beautiful handmade soaps, balms and bath bombs using natural ingredients that are kind to the skin. Her products are designed to be “little luxuries” that have wellbeing at their heart. Just what every teacher needs! https://www.melslittleluxuries.co.uk

Float in the Forest

If you want to club together with some other parents, or the whole class, then a voucher for Float in the Forest could be a good option. A unique experience of true wellbeing and relaxation. https://floatintheforest.co.uk/

Tubie Cheeks

While this site’s focus is on medical items for children, it also has lovely things like diaries, notebooks and lanyards that make great teacher gifts. https://www.tubiecheeks.co.uk/useful-things

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